Let me tell you the story about a girl called Lydia. I met her recently… I know her but she does not know me.
Lydia is a tall dark skinned girl in her late 20’s. When I met her, she was in a cheap navy blue office suit and matching doll shoes which made her feet seem to pour out the sides of her shoes, she had masculine feet and for a moment I felt sorry for the soles of her shoes. Her nails were masked in chipped nail polish and she wore a blonde synthetic weave.
At first sight I thought she worked as a bank sales girl thanks to her boring choice of attire but the luggage she carried was not the type you take to the office with you; so she was definitely not going to an office – (she came across as one of those girls who prefer dressing in suits because suits make them look independent and smart). She could be unemployed for all I cared but her luggage said she was travelling.
Lydia was travelling to Kisumu on that day. We shared a matatu ride early in the morning as I was going to work. Her bus’s departure time was at noon; it did not make much sense to me that she opted to wake up so early to catch a 12am bus. I mean it was 6:30am and she was all ready for the road!
Lydia was seated next to the driver’s seat just in front of me in the matatu. I could not see her face but I got a rare chance to view her life from the perfect view point – her phone!
First she left a nasty comment on one of her whatsapp group “I hate it when people text ‘xaxa na xwty’ kwani you guys don’t know English!” her text read! She went on ranting about the poor usage of grammar and some of her Whatsapp group mates cheered and clapped on. ‘Tell them, Lydia!’ one of the texts read.
‘Wow!’ I thought to myself… ‘Lydia must really be in to the English grammar!’
Then she went on ahead to reply a text from Leonard and this is where the fun begun.
‘I am travelling to Kisumu. On my way to the bus pick up point. Bus leaves at noon’ (That’s how I found out where she was heading to)
Leonard (a love interest I presume) was clearly waiting anxiously for her response because he replied immediately ‘So this means you can come over?’ (Ahem… Team mafisi representative)
‘No I can’t, I will be late’ she replied…
Gosh! Was I just about to witness a ‘Muturi call’?
Leonard took a while before he replied to her text compared to his first response. I could only imagine his disappointment while reading it from wherever he was but at least his move bought Lydia more time to take a selfie and send it to him, captioned…’Travelling Face # stuck_in_traffic’
“Please come over… I will take you to the mbukinya myself and ensure that you are not late’, he replied having been motivated by the selfie again, I presume.
‘Not today, but when I come, u will be the first person I see’
“But I can’t wait for that long… I really miss my bae”
‘Awwww J I miss you to but today’s just not good for me’
… ‘Tumeshikwa na polisi imagine’ she added.
What! What just happened?
We were riding in the same matatu but I was so caught up reading and eavesdropping on her conversations that I had to learn that cops had busted us from one her texts! Trust that when I looked through the matatu window there was a policeman eager to receive his chai before he could let us go.
Clearly I was having too much fun. This was better than reading a Bikozulu post or Ghafla during the morning matatu ride. I should be doing this more often… Wait, now we were scrolling through her gallery images. I am guessing ‘We’ were looking for the perfect image to send our dearest Leonard to calm him down after the great disappointment we had just caused him. (I felt like I was now one with Lydia- She let me into her world and I embraced it!)
We scrolled through some wedding photos and paused to stare at one of her photos – in the pic, she was in overdone makeup and Nike shaped eyebrows so we decided it was not good enough(Oh so that’s how her face looks like… I could not see her face from where I was seated). We then scrolled on through tonnes of selfies, baby pictures (was she a mum?) then on through xvideos downloads and then more selfies and finally we got a nude!
‘OMG!’ I thought. ‘I just saw you face for the first time and now a few minutes later I see you nude!’… No better way to spend my morning!
It was one of those nudes that are taken in front of a mirror. She knew her stronghold areas for sure!
I could see her messy bedroom on the background. I could tell that she does not live in Kile or Runda that bedroom was basic. There was a basin in her room. (Guys from Kile do not have basins in the bedroom or bathroom, they know not water problems and plus they have bath tubs) Anyway what I am trying to say is that I could tell that she is not from a rich background neither is she rich herself.
After we had sent that sultry image we decided to send some money to someone. We got through the crazy pattern lock in one piece and keyed in the amount (It was Ksh 3000) and we sent the money to someone called Akinyi.
“Umepata? … Hizo pesa tumia kuangalia mototo… Uhakikishe Amekula… Sawa?” followed a phone conversation with Akinyi. From her accent I could tell which part of the country she hailed from, I just wish she’d speak in English so that I can judge her grammar!
So yes she was a mum, yes I saw her mpesa pin and no she did not go to see Leonard.
I loved that she had the most complex patterns in the age of smart phones, I guess it was meant to protect her nudes or prevent her baby from dialing random numbers; we will never know! Anyway her big LCD screen betrayed her.
Lydia wherever you are… I have one question… Why was the number 69 your profile picture?
That’s Lydia’s story.